so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
