Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
