I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
