she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
