I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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