There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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