Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
