I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
