you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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