honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
