Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
