Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
