Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
