wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
