You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
