So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
