it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
