haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
