Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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