My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
