He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
