I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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