im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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