NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
