K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
