If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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