i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
