My hair reeks of homosexuality.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
