Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
