Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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