so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
either way he was missing a nipple.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
