we're blogging at a bar
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
