Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
