I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
