ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
