marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
you inspire me to be a worse person
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just blew my weed a kiss
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
