Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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