You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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