just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
