Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
