he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
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