What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
