So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
