btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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