so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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