I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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