if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
