i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
