So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize