i just snorted my name. best moment ever
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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